x_theradiostar (x_theradiostar) wrote,
x_theradiostar
x_theradiostar

Sorry, guys. ;_;

You can call this post a fish for compliments, and it sort of is; I need the self-reassurance, and as of late, I've been feeling really out of whack. I need something to ground me.

You may have noticed that I've not been updating often.

There's a long, angsty version and a short, blunt version of this story.

The short version is, I'm giving up writing. Well, not totally giving up; more like going on an indefinate hiatus.

It's for a lot of reasons. One, I'm sucked dry. Everything I manage to churn out is pretty damn bad. I dont feel like my writing is any good. I'm not getting much feedback. I've been reading a lot of old fanfic, some of the stuff I've written and some other things I was poking at, and I've been thinking... Well, I dont want to be writing like this -gestures to new writing- when there are people writing like this. Emma Grant, less Godly authors, lots of fic recs I've read- and yeah, maybe even Fight Club has sort of brought this on.

The last line I wrote that I've been proud of was the bit about the magnet and Magneto in the Bobby/St. John fic I wrote when X3 came out. I loved that line. But before that, I cant think of much; I loved how She Said, For Hogwarts and He Said, For You turned out- He Said, You Romantic was ok, but the first two were much better. My writing slowly progressed downward as time went on, and now I feel like I'm at a point where I should just stop and take a nice, long break.

So, yeah.

Basically, I dont feel like my writing is up to par and I dont feel that other people think my writing is up to par, either. Kelly, Zoe, Laurel, you guys have been great and I love you, but the last time someone other than you trio read something I wrote and actually commented on it was... a long, long time ago. I dont even know. Since just about all I do is fanfic, I probably wont be updating often... my boring life probably wouldn't interest you anyways. I'll still check up on your journals every now and then (specially yours, Laurel) and I might comment from time to time, but I think I'm just going to set down the pen keyboard and see if I can get my groove back.

I've got two choices, really; try to ride this out or take a vacation.

I dont know which one I want. I'm sort of somewhere in the middle, and its sort of up to you guys-- thats why I say this post is a fish for compliments-- to persuade me either way.



If you are going to comment on this, please dont guilt trip me about prompts I was gonig to do for you or anything like that. If you are going to comment on this, just give me a sincere opinion about whether or not my writing has been declining, and whether or not you think I should try to stick this out.

Thanks, all. It's been fun.

-Eshen
-The Prettier Sister
-Quint M. Fab
-Laurels (ex) Writing Bitch
-Zoe's (ex) Cheap Writing Whore
-Kelly's (ex) Writing Slave

ps. This is going to be public because I feel like it. Not like anyone looks at this damn journal anyways.
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